the reason none of us can ever leave tumblr is because we’ve already evolved to having this be our only suitable habitat. we’re the devils hole pupfish of people.
me and my mutuals
2010-2015 GMC Terrain
i’m at a concert thingy and the bands don’t start for another 2 hours, but they have the stage set up and are letting people come up and do karaoke. this family just went up w their kids to belt out cartoon songs and when they held the mic up for the baby to try, it babbled cutely for a sec and then grabbed on and unleashed one of those horrible piercing baby SCREAMS at the top of their little baby lungs and i’m pretty sure wiped out the first 3 rows of people lmao
one of the bands sampled the baby shriek and added it to their songs
it’s extremely not good to listen to
on the planet of the…
TREBLE
DEATH, IT LIVE SO CRAZY
MEN MY FAVORITE TYPE OF LADY
SEX, I’VE HAD ENOUGH
TELL THE WORLD “BLOW YOURSELF UP!”
sometimes u make up a guy & it takes 4000 tries to draw them right and sometimes u make up a guy & draw them right the 1st time and never again
Wandering Albatross
Credit 📸 : @birdthrew
0v9:
I suffer from a disease called “can load the dishwasher correctly” it’s incredibly rare, very few people have it
Ikea’s modular sofa designer is Game of the Year
my longcouch is perfectly constructed
Dungeon Maker
Day old chicks are so funny, they just fall asleep so easily
youll have to excuse them… it is very tiring to be small and tiny
“women are my favorite guy” is the phrase of the summer imo
i cant stop thinking about it. its so fucking funny
(voice of a man invariably alienated from the human experience): Hey guys
Ben and Jerry’s is dangerous ice cream… capitalizes on the evolutionary human instinct to dig for chunks… before you know it half the pint gone
the children yearn for the mines
Wearing a t-shirt that says “Hungry for Aquarium Meat” which of course I’m wearing to the Aquarium
My date would wear that one.
baby chain catshark hasn’t learned how to swim yet
well give him a minute he’s two blinks old